ღ | It sounds odd when you word it that way. Like my intentions are impure. I assure you, they are not.
[ ...he can't believe he's about to ask this, his poor little face is so red but-- riddle feels like he's missing something and the next course of action after heavy makeouts with a guy is, well-- ]
For the sake of curiosity, how were you hoping I would have answered your question?
[ of course riddle's intentions weren't impure. he is straight-laced, means what he says, and is direct to a fault. his sense of 'direction' is hard to deceive.
which is why floyd chooses to be the same, albeit in that particular way. ]
well i figured if you wanted to have a point of comparison? you know
but maybe you wouldn't want to do that after you sized everything up
ღ | I don't think that's true at all. I know you would never hurt her. Not unless you're looking to compromise your ability to exist. But, I do have safety floaties for her. They're for hedgehog water aerobics. Tell you what? I will do my best to convince her to come along with us. Maybe we can all go to the beach together?
[ a family trip with mommy, daddy, and baby... ]
Are you truly that desperate to be smacked around? Of course I won't do it now that I know you *want* it.
ღ | You know better now, Shino-san, so it's in your best interest not to blame yourself and get worked up. It could make you sicker. I will bring you a few things to help with the sickness, so wait for me.
Are you somewhere safe? Send me a pin drop and I will come to you.
[ He still feels incredibly guilty and like a burden but at least Riddle is being kind about it. Hajime is rather sure he deserves a firm scolding. He can only imagine what Nazuna nii-chan would have to say about all this. ]
I think so.
[ There's still rowdiness nearby but he'd found a quieter spot at least and after another moment he does send a pin to Riddle. This is probably the best spot aside from if he'd found himself in his own bed ]
ღ | While I am a staunch believer in proper planning, your words are not incorrect. A wise Archon once said, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." Indeed, there are times where we must take unconventional steps in order to make the most of a situation.
Well now, that all depends upon the sort of cute you are referring to. Is it the sort of cute one would associate with someone fair and lovely, or the sort of cute one would associate with an infant?
[ answer wisely, itto... your life may depend on it. ]
Regardless, I will take the compliment for now. Thank you kindly. I didn't peg you as the gentlemanly sort, but you have surprised me. If only you would be more careful! Do not pick up explosives! It doesn't matter how tough you or your hands are, one never knows what may happen!
[ poor (lucky?) naive riddle genuinely believes itto is being entirely literal and he is indeed the most sought-after tour guide in all of inazuma. he's such an earnest and cheerful fellow, who wouldn't be delighted to have such a charming and knowledgable guy escorting them? ]
I see. I'm quite lucky, aren't I? I almost can't believe such good fortune found me. Thank you very much for being willing to escort me on such short notice. I can only imagine how tight your schedule is, so I'm greatly appreciative. Shall I leave all the planning to you, or is there information you require of me before you get to organizing everything?
uhhhhh well you're not an infant! so that only leaves one answer fair and lovely does sound like you but i don't think you'd like getting called like... the fairiest and loveliest onikabuto you don't want to be a beetle, right???
[ if he needs to, he can use the oldest trick in the book to calm someone down: smother them with his tits. easy. ]
oh yeah of course if you want to do some of the heavy lifting i guess i'm going to need your measurements unless you want me to do them
and then you'll need to meet me at the hideout or i can go get you and bring you there so you don't have to worry about any monsters getting in your way
I checked the calendar. You're going to be in that clingy phase soon. Are the other blankets and linen still in the closet?
[ wanderer knows how this goes. he has been with riddle long enough to expect it.
every few months, his life-partner becomes overwhelmingly cuddly and needy. he'll throw a tantrum at the mere thought of separating from wanderer's side, burrowing his nose into the stretch of skin between his lover's neck and shoulder to inhale the scent. and with that increased urge for closeness, riddle will want to do... that.
the 'nesting' thing.
blankets, linen, pillows, and plush toys—they all find themselves piled up on their shared bed. riddle may be petite in this form, but he can't stifle this compulsion. wanderer has learned to go along with it. ]
[ riddle was just about to leave the outskirts of the forest after rambling about in the high noon sun when he sees the message. ah, that's right, it's that time of the season, isn't it? the ground has become pleasantly hot, and all manner of flowers are springing to life and accosting him. that explains why he's been hyperfixating on the idea of eating a rock, too... good thing wanderer reminded him. ]
Ah, that's right. Time has crept up on me yet again. It was much easier to track this phase before Lord Murata's blessing. Anytime I found myself ready to lay an egg, I knew it was time to settle high in my mountain.
[ unfortunately, this also means he has to pass through the bazaar. there's a sale on potted purple roses in one of the stalls... if he borrows a cart, he could bring home at least a dozen of them. the thought of having a nest surrounded by roses again makes his heart skip a beat. ]
Thank you. If you could also get the humidifier going, I would appreciate it greatly. It doesn't need to be set to high, but just enough to give the room a bit of dampness would be lovely.
Also, this body will require substantial sustenance soon. Could you prepare something for me? Nothing tastes better than a dish made by you.
ღ | [ admittedly, riddle is a little bit surprised-- though not necessarily in a bad way. should he be, though? of course the kaiser in his memories was eager to share his finds with him, or excited to discover places to play or potential secret spots; he was a damn kid. they both were. that's what kids do?? and yet, everything he shared with riddle was something worth treasuring.
it's nice that kaiser remembers though. it doesn't change much, their past may not mean that much to him, but it'll always be everything to riddle. ]
Firsts are very important to me. I have so few right now, so I'm excited to change that now that I'm free of my mother. I want to learn as much as I can, and experience as much of the world I can.
The people who share my firsts with me are also very important. Perhaps the most important thing of all.
[ what is he trying to say?? don't ask him, he doesn't actually know. riddle doesn't know anything.....just that he's excited to see his first play with his first friend for the first time in a new city. okay so maybe he does know what he's trying to say but due to a combination of factors (awkward, emotionally constipated, etc) simply cannot and will not say whatever it is. WHATEVER!!! ]
Anyway, the cult isn't based around worshipping soap itself. It's a typical run-of-the-mill doomsday cult who just happens to have a soap-cutting hobby, and uses soap cutting ASMR as the vehicle to spreading their message.
With that in mind, their confessions are surprising. There are many dishonest and violent people in this cult who have apparently reformed thanks to Soaping.
[ he sends a link to a thing of someone cutting soap while talking about the time they watched an old man drown and did nothing to help followed by a few other videos-- another sinner confessing to purposely causing a car crash that killed a toddler, the soap leader earnestly saying patrick mahomes is the antichrist and Needs to be crucified, and then one of those weird carving-soap-into-a-bonfire-and-chanting videos. should he have sent this many??? maybe he secretly wanted to share these insane finds......misery loves company after all. ]
It's quite curious...not enough to where I would be willing to financially compromise my sophisticated theatergoing ambitions though. Worry not. I wouldn't hack it in a cult.
sometimes you get a bit sentimental and i dont know what to say... not in a bad way if anything that is very astounding of you. im sure lots of people wish that they could silence me
[ at least he's self-aware about, um... literally all of that? but it's probably because kaiser doesn't bother with putting on airs with riddle: it isn't that he's more honest, per se, because kaiser just casually says whatever with no concern about how divorced from reality his words are... but that he doesn't attempt to be somebody other than what comes to him naturally. ]
both of us are still too young for that for now, we can both experience more firsts... in the first place lets be more sentimental in our 30s or so [ that, to kaiser, is where being old starts. yeah. anyways! ]
that... is crazy...
[ because, yes, he watched every single video. it's the decent thing to do when sent a video! and now that he's finished, he cannot help but to attempt to armchair psychoanalyze these people— ]
where did you even find these people in the first place why do they put all of this in public where anybody could see it? this MUST be a thing where its actually a subconscious cry for help, right? is watching these videos YOUR subconscious cry for help? wait. i guess you gave an actual call for help too. at least you know...
ღ | ...That is true, Sebek is a bright junior with excellent manners
[ generally? deep down, riddle likes azul quite a bit. he's smart, a hard worker, and unlike a certain other second-year housewarden, earned his position with his own strength. truly, if he were to make a list of students he doesn't want to beat to death with a dictionary, azul would be somewhere on there.
...or rather, would have been. he's ruining riddle's life right now and making him feel stupid to boot! fuck!! ]
but during our outings, I allow him to speak with me casually. You'll understand someday.
[ ugh, riddle knows he's double-fucked if azul makes good on his threat, or worse yet invites sebek into a groupchat with them to confirm this. as much as he wants to double down, he decides it's best to come clean and make a strategic retreat a few minutes later. time to change tactics instead. ]
Do not bother asking Sebek. You know I'm lying through my teeth. It was a pitiful attempt on my part.
I don't understand what you possibly have to gain from learning this information. Why do you need to know? Do you want the other shirt after all? They're both in extra large sizes, so whichever you choose ought to fit you.
[ so googly-bear wears an xl...?! ]
Instead of harassing me and invading my privacy, you should be studying Azul. Shame on you for putting your academics second. In fact, we should *both* be studying right now.
You say that, and yet as a matter of fact, I was in the middle of studying before I was suddenly interrupted by your text that you had sent me. And then you have the nerve to lie and dodge responsibility when I try to inquire further into this matter... how cruel...
[... Wait. Someone who "doesn't have a formal bone in their body", would "terrorize" Riddle after finding out about this, and wears an XL........]
Hang on, I just realized: is this mystery person someone that we both know? Specifically, from my dorm?
[Because Azul suddenly has a funny feeling about who this mystery person might be...??]
ღ |Are you sure that's wise? Since we weren't provided with rations and have to fashion our own tools like damned troglodytes, mushrooms may very well be your lifeline. Or are you going to use them to barter? Just so you know, Heartslabyul owns the three berry bushes to the south. I wrote our name in the dirt by them.
[ riddle is about to learn there are no rules when it comes to survival of the fittest. speaking of which-- ]
Trey made one (1) joke about eating each other to survive, and now the rest of the group won't stop talking about it. It's becoming annoying. As you have no doubt guessed, Ace is making mischief. Deuce and Trey are trying to be helpful, but Cater is livestreaming our suffering, which is also annoying.
I'll be sure to stay away from Floyd... If he's bored and moody, he might want to play hide & seek.
[Luckily for Riddle, Azul is someone who is willing to barter, since he likes making deals.]
If they were only normal mushrooms, then I could have been persuaded, but Jade keeps bringing back exotic ones that I am almost certain are poisonous. However, for the ones that are not poisonous, I am willing to trade some of them to you for berries... provided that they are also not poisonous, and that another group hasn't already picked your so-called claimed bushes while you weren't looking.
I'd say that sounds miserable and that I don't envy you, but Floyd has also made various jokes about resorting to eating me as well. At least it sounds like Trey-san is only joking in your case...
ღ | [ he follows the links, he watches...and he screams irl. riddle is pretty fucking sure the mystery serial killer in the forest will be going out of its way to avoid them. ]
WHY CAN YOU DO THAT
Is this a talent?! Or do you do some form of exercise to achieve this?! Can just anyone have this level of grip strength?
[ aka, can he with his tiny little disney princess hands achieve this someday. obviously no, because riddle is comically unathletic, but a man can dream can't he???? ]
ღ | Astute observation! That seems to be the case, doesn't it? I've never settled for anything less than excellence, so I hope you continue to do the same, mighty emperor.
[ contrary to what riddle may be implying, he does not in fact expect kaiser to venture past his front door on new year's day. look, he's a fellow introvert, he Gets It. that being said, ugh, now he has to decide if he wants to watch the sunrise with kaiser or show kaiser how beautiful he looks all made up in his kimono in person. doing both is too inconvenient.
anyway, just leave the planning to him. all kaiser needs to do is acknowledge his existence and accept his new year's gift so riddle can have his Full New Years Experience. easy, right? ]
While wanting to read more is a noble goal, you should focus on quality, not quantity. If the book you're reading is dry and uninteresting, you won't want to make time to read it. Do not speedread!
Perhaps exploring a new genre will motivate you. What sorts of books have you been reading until now?
well, naturally. if i let my standards slip, how am i going to be able to face you knowing that you might (rightfully) beat my ass over it?
[ he is not kidding. anyways, the solution is simple, they should both just stay in! ... except kaiser does recognize the value of hanging out with other people, hence his fake extrovert personality... ]
mostly i read philosophy and psychology... and mostly in german, though i can read in other languages too...
[ suddenly, the reason why it might take kaiser a looong time to read things becomes incredibly clear. it's the material, not his speed. ]
im not against reading in other genres, though, i havent thought about what else might interest me, though. history maybe? biographies? does anything else come to mind...
ღ | ...Can you at *least* pare it down to a nice Tu-Thu-Sat schedule?! There's no way you won't run out of gifts eventually! I know this is asking a bit much from you, but could you at least *try* to be reasonable?
[ he's supposed to be the one being a better, less useless friend here!! though to be fair, kaiser really was moments away from having to figuratively sleep on the couch. focusing on this stresses riddle out in a whole new exciting way that takes his mind off his previous worries. ohhh, what a considerate little german boy 🥹❤️ ]
Since sharing a parfait seems to be a romantic staple, I *originally* wanted to go to Asako Iwayanagi. They serve the most amazing-looking parfaits there with a variety of unique components. If that's too intimate for you, I also had my eye on Ebisu Cafe, where they pioneered fruit sandwiches.
ah okay, im a kind and considerate soul so i can agree to this compromise
[ also... that buys him some time before he starts running out of ideas, but he won't say that. ]
why not mon-wed-sat though? dont most people dislike monday? itll be something you can look forward to 🥺
but parfait is fine let me see about making a reservation and if not we can do take out and eat elsewhere... or maybe that would be better? i bet itll be busy there
[ he's thinking... an upscale hotel lounge or something along those lines? he's google searching places with indoors gardens... ]
ღ | Elegant, refined, powerful-- That's what I am, isn't it? It should make perfect sense to you.
[ he also longs to be spoiled and adored like one, but that's neither here nor there. after all, with rinne's attention on him and him alone for the moment, riddle has nothing to complain about. in fact, he looks intrigued. riddle does so love a good mystery. ]
I fail to see how I look matters any, but worry not. Rest assured I won't tell a soul, Rinne-san. I'll happily keep this secret between just the two of us.
one of these days i'm gonna accidentally call him tsukasa
Kyaha! That's what I like to hear. C'mon, let's get there while the sun's still up!
[ Rinne hooks his arm around Riddle's and leads the way!
It's... a hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant! Not those new, sleek types for young customers to make Tiktoks with. This one's a quiet, cozy, old-fashioned place with brick walls and warm lights. It's definitely not what you'd expect from Rinne. Artisanal pizza seems to be their specialty. ]
ღ | There is no need to be embarrassed. I feel the same way! If I must have dark chocolate, it must have notes of fruit flavoring or I'll reject it immediately. I dislike bitter and bland things, so I have developed quite the sweet tooth as of late.
I come from a similar situation. Growing up, my diet was strict, so sweets were expressly forbidden. Now that I'm free to try any of the foods I want, I will most often give anything I'm presented with a fair chance. One never knows when a new favorite may crop up.
I will bring a variety of molds for us to try. As for me, I love milk chocolate with strawberry mousse filling. I also enjoy chocolate-covered strawberries.
There is something especially delightful about the mixture of chocolate and strawberries. Then again, my favorite fruit is strawberries, so perhaps I am biased. How nice it is that we both have the opportunity to explore new foods now. ♪
Is there anything else you can think of that we may need and that I have failed to account for? I am looking forward to the day now.
ღ | It's not as though I don't feel the same way, you know. I wouldn't be such a mess otherwise.
[ his response is a bit delayed because he screamed and tossed his phone across the room like a frisbee. ugh! having a complete horndog for a practice boyfriend is going to be a challenge, isn't it? especially since riddle is determined to spend more time with toji now. ]
DON'T JUST SAY THAT SORT OF THING SO CASUALLY! Besides, I don't doubt you'll have no difficulty in finding another cute hole to fill by the end of the week, assuming you don't have several on standby as it is. It'll be for the best when the time comes.
[ that's kind of what he assumed. he is rarely Bothered, unfortunately. ]
Oh, I know. You're so clingy. It's cute.
Well why not? It's true. Though I would have to take some time to scrounge up someone as tight and cute and sweet as you are. I've been spoiled by that perfect little hole of yours, and all the lovely noises you make. You won't be easy to replace.
ღ | The joke is on you because everything makes me turn red. It isn't solely a pleasure response!
[ it completely goes against his previous claims of distrusting toji, and is most definitely against his better judgment, but riddle decides that perhaps another scrap of princess lore is in order. no one has ever promised to take care of him or be good to him before... after a life of pain and loneliness, it's hard not to latch onto such a dreamy offer. ]
...I still have a lot to learn when it comes to understanding people, their feelings, and their intentions. So far it's been simpler to distrust everyone and focus only on myself and my studies, just as my mother told me to.
I don't know if you're being sincere, but I want you to be. I really do.
[ it really is entirely too easy to fluster him. and yet.
the openness does once again give him pause, though. riddle, how dare you try to activate any of his trauma, he buries it under gambling, nihilism, and sex. ]
If there's one thing you can trust from me, it's that I want you. That I like making you mine. That's pretty hard to fake.
So I'll take care of you until you find someone better.
[punching the wall punching the wall punching the wall-- mentally, of course. he'd give too much away if he reacted too much right now. hell, he's not even going to tell jade he's leaving this time. just gonna get up and go. he knows exactly where riddle is (the background of the photos, though decidedly NOT the point, confirms this for him) and he's not going to just take this sitting down!! or, well..... if he has no choice but to take it sitting down, he's at least going to do it at the foot of the queen, where he belongs..
photos are fun and have their purpose, but they're certainly no substitute for seeing and feeling the real deal. and riddle KNOWS this, which is why Floyd is 1000% sure that he's riling him up JUST to punish him for this totally innocuous accidental goofle search. for this, he will not stand!
which is why he's not letting on even a little bit that he's on his way to heartslabyul. just going to keep texting like normal while he books it across campus to the mirror room.]
ive been nothin BUT a good boy today tyvm didnt slack off at practice turned in all the lib books i forgot about finished all my hw before i went to work didnt bite any customers even tho one guy really deserved it
[nevermind why he's getting punished in the first place and that he's now completely abandoned his post in order to fulfill a whim again]
and this is how you treat an innocent man?? your good boy? slippin me salacious little snaps like that? kinda makes a guy wanna revolt a lil ;) think ill have my cake and eat it too
Is that right? You certainly had a productive day. You accomplished a fair bit, and behaved quite well at work on top of it. Maybe I *should* be a bit more lenient with you...
[ none the wiser to the moray's ambush, riddle sits himself neatly in front of his mirror, legs extended and ankles crossed, completely relaxed as he ponders the other boy's messages. 'nevermind' his ass-- floyd so much as thinking about another fertile body will not stand! what, does riddle not "put him to work" frequently enough?! and anyway, riddle is much more attractive than any old fish... ]
Now, whyever would you want to do such a thing? Are these treats not sweet enough for you? I wanted to avoid spoiling your appetite since I wanted to call on you after your shift, but it seems I've only succeeded in making you greedy.
A pity. You seem to forget whose verdict is the only one that matters. You certainly *were* a good boy today... Is there any way you wish prove your contrition? Convince me you're innocent of the crime of letting your eyes wander.
ღ | [ surprisingly, riddle's room is similar to the queen's dorm back in heartslabyul, with misshapen furniture and all sorts of nonsensical knicknacks; the only major differences are the various posters from all manner of musicians across genres, and the widescreen television set in front of the tea table. as promised, bottles of strawberry soda, a variety of chips, the "medicated" gummy bears, and sheets of lyrics are scattered atop it. ]
Now, what should we watch, Cay-Cay? Do you want to stick to music videos, or should we look for a cool, inspirational movie?
[ he means a low-brow horror movie or stoner flick. ]
[Cater's eyes immediately snap to Riddle at the nickname— Seven it's weirder in person, isn't it— but he recovers quickly, mostly because there's so much to look at and take in. A lot of these musicians are ones he recognizes as ones he's regularly into, even.
So even though his first instinct is to say— let's do what you want, it suddenly occurs to Cater that there is a pattern here, and he's not being asked to cater to what he usually knows to be Riddle's tastes for a reason.]
Y'know?
Why don't we chill out first with a cool flick, and if we get bored, we can watch some music videos.
[He suggests as he sliiides over to sit down in front of that television, arms out and fingers wiggling to invite Riddle to sit close.]
@readytosqueeze
[ ...he can't believe he's about to ask this, his poor little face is so red but-- riddle feels like he's missing something and the next course of action after heavy makeouts with a guy is, well-- ]
For the sake of curiosity, how were you hoping I would have answered your question?
no subject
which is why floyd chooses to be the same, albeit in that particular way. ]
well
i figured if you wanted to have a point of comparison?
you know
but maybe you wouldn't want to do that
after you sized everything up
:)
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[ a family trip with mommy, daddy, and baby... ]
Are you truly that desperate to be smacked around? Of course I won't do it now that I know you *want* it.
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do u really have to convince her
just put a snack into her carrier and we can just go
u can ride on my back
im not that desperate
i can get u to do it if i really want it
eheheh
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@purpleblossom
Are you somewhere safe? Send me a pin drop and I will come to you.
lifesaver!
[ He still feels incredibly guilty and like a burden but at least Riddle is being kind about it. Hajime is rather sure he deserves a firm scolding. He can only imagine what Nazuna nii-chan would have to say about all this. ]
I think so.
[ There's still rowdiness nearby but he'd found a quieter spot at least and after another moment he does send a pin to Riddle. This is probably the best spot aside from if he'd found himself in his own bed ]
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@itto
Well now, that all depends upon the sort of cute you are referring to. Is it the sort of cute one would associate with someone fair and lovely, or the sort of cute one would associate with an infant?
[ answer wisely, itto... your life may depend on it. ]
Regardless, I will take the compliment for now. Thank you kindly. I didn't peg you as the gentlemanly sort, but you have surprised me. If only you would be more careful! Do not pick up explosives! It doesn't matter how tough you or your hands are, one never knows what may happen!
[ poor (lucky?) naive riddle genuinely believes itto is being entirely literal and he is indeed the most sought-after tour guide in all of inazuma. he's such an earnest and cheerful fellow, who wouldn't be delighted to have such a charming and knowledgable guy escorting them? ]
I see. I'm quite lucky, aren't I? I almost can't believe such good fortune found me. Thank you very much for being willing to escort me on such short notice. I can only imagine how tight your schedule is, so I'm greatly appreciative. Shall I leave all the planning to you, or is there information you require of me before you get to organizing everything?
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well you're not an infant! so that only leaves one answer
fair and lovely does sound like you
but i don't think you'd like getting called like... the fairiest and loveliest onikabuto
you don't want to be a beetle, right???
[ if he needs to, he can use the oldest trick in the book to calm someone down: smother them with his tits. easy. ]
oh yeah of course
if you want to do some of the heavy lifting
i guess i'm going to need your measurements
unless you want me to do them
and then you'll need to meet me at the hideout
or i can go get you
and bring you there so you don't have to worry about any monsters getting in your way
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gently pecks your html
omfg i am a MESS
🥹
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rubs my paws on your open.....
[ wanderer knows how this goes. he has been with riddle long enough to expect it.
every few months, his life-partner becomes overwhelmingly cuddly and needy. he'll throw a tantrum at the mere thought of separating from wanderer's side, burrowing his nose into the stretch of skin between his lover's neck and shoulder to inhale the scent. and with that increased urge for closeness, riddle will want to do... that.
the 'nesting' thing.
blankets, linen, pillows, and plush toys—they all find themselves piled up on their shared bed. riddle may be petite in this form, but he can't stifle this compulsion. wanderer has learned to go along with it. ]
I'll put them out.
mroooowwww,,,..... licks u ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Ah, that's right. Time has crept up on me yet again. It was much easier to track this phase before Lord Murata's blessing. Anytime I found myself ready to lay an egg, I knew it was time to settle high in my mountain.
[ unfortunately, this also means he has to pass through the bazaar. there's a sale on potted purple roses in one of the stalls... if he borrows a cart, he could bring home at least a dozen of them. the thought of having a nest surrounded by roses again makes his heart skip a beat. ]
Thank you. If you could also get the humidifier going, I would appreciate it greatly. It doesn't need to be set to high, but just enough to give the room a bit of dampness would be lovely.
Also, this body will require substantial sustenance soon. Could you prepare something for me? Nothing tastes better than a dish made by you.
[ and here comes the demanding neediness... ]
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@outplayed
it's nice that kaiser remembers though. it doesn't change much, their past may not mean that much to him, but it'll always be everything to riddle. ]
Firsts are very important to me. I have so few right now, so I'm excited to change that now that I'm free of my mother. I want to learn as much as I can, and experience as much of the world I can.
The people who share my firsts with me are also very important. Perhaps the most important thing of all.
[ what is he trying to say?? don't ask him, he doesn't actually know. riddle doesn't know anything.....just that he's excited to see his first play with his first friend for the first time in a new city. okay so maybe he does know what he's trying to say but due to a combination of factors (awkward, emotionally constipated, etc) simply cannot and will not say whatever it is. WHATEVER!!! ]
Anyway, the cult isn't based around worshipping soap itself. It's a typical run-of-the-mill doomsday cult who just happens to have a soap-cutting hobby, and uses soap cutting ASMR as the vehicle to spreading their message.
With that in mind, their confessions are surprising. There are many dishonest and violent people in this cult who have apparently reformed thanks to Soaping.
[ he sends a link to a thing of someone cutting soap while talking about the time they watched an old man drown and did nothing to help followed by a few other videos-- another sinner confessing to purposely causing a car crash that killed a toddler, the soap leader earnestly saying patrick mahomes is the antichrist and Needs to be crucified, and then one of those weird carving-soap-into-a-bonfire-and-chanting videos. should he have sent this many??? maybe he secretly wanted to share these insane finds......misery loves company after all. ]
It's quite curious...not enough to where I would be willing to financially compromise my sophisticated theatergoing ambitions though. Worry not. I wouldn't hack it in a cult.
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not in a bad way
if anything that is very astounding of you. im sure lots of people wish that they could silence me
[ at least he's self-aware about, um... literally all of that? but it's probably because kaiser doesn't bother with putting on airs with riddle: it isn't that he's more honest, per se, because kaiser just casually says whatever with no concern about how divorced from reality his words are... but that he doesn't attempt to be somebody other than what comes to him naturally. ]
both of us are still too young for that
for now, we can both experience more firsts... in the first place
lets be more sentimental in our 30s or so [ that, to kaiser, is where being old starts. yeah. anyways! ]
that... is crazy...
[ because, yes, he watched every single video. it's the decent thing to do when sent a video! and now that he's finished, he cannot help but to attempt to armchair psychoanalyze these people— ]
where did you even find these people in the first place
why do they put all of this in public where anybody could see it? this MUST be a thing where its actually a subconscious cry for help, right?
is watching these videos YOUR subconscious cry for help?
wait. i guess you gave an actual call for help too. at least you know...
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@octoblot
[ generally? deep down, riddle likes azul quite a bit. he's smart, a hard worker, and unlike a certain other second-year housewarden, earned his position with his own strength. truly, if he were to make a list of students he doesn't want to beat to death with a dictionary, azul would be somewhere on there.
...or rather, would have been. he's ruining riddle's life right now and making him feel stupid to boot! fuck!! ]
but during our outings, I allow him to speak with me casually. You'll understand someday.
[ ugh, riddle knows he's double-fucked if azul makes good on his threat, or worse yet invites sebek into a groupchat with them to confirm this. as much as he wants to double down, he decides it's best to come clean and make a strategic retreat a few minutes later. time to change tactics instead. ]
Do not bother asking Sebek. You know I'm lying through my teeth. It was a pitiful attempt on my part.
I don't understand what you possibly have to gain from learning this information. Why do you need to know? Do you want the other shirt after all? They're both in extra large sizes, so whichever you choose ought to fit you.
[ so googly-bear wears an xl...?! ]
Instead of harassing me and invading my privacy, you should be studying Azul. Shame on you for putting your academics second. In fact, we should *both* be studying right now.
[ PLEASE WORK-- ]
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[... Wait. Someone who "doesn't have a formal bone in their body", would "terrorize" Riddle after finding out about this, and wears an XL........]
Hang on, I just realized: is this mystery person someone that we both know? Specifically, from my dorm?
[Because Azul suddenly has a funny feeling about who this mystery person might be...??]
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@octoblot
[ riddle is about to learn there are no rules when it comes to survival of the fittest. speaking of which-- ]
Trey made one (1) joke about eating each other to survive, and now the rest of the group won't stop talking about it. It's becoming annoying. As you have no doubt guessed, Ace is making mischief. Deuce and Trey are trying to be helpful, but Cater is livestreaming our suffering, which is also annoying.
I'll be sure to stay away from Floyd... If he's bored and moody, he might want to play hide & seek.
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If they were only normal mushrooms, then I could have been persuaded, but Jade keeps bringing back exotic ones that I am almost certain are poisonous. However, for the ones that are not poisonous, I am willing to trade some of them to you for berries... provided that they are also not poisonous, and that another group hasn't already picked your so-called claimed bushes while you weren't looking.
I'd say that sounds miserable and that I don't envy you, but Floyd has also made various jokes about resorting to eating me as well. At least it sounds like Trey-san is only joking in your case...
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@outplayed
WHY CAN YOU DO THAT
Is this a talent?! Or do you do some form of exercise to achieve this?! Can just anyone have this level of grip strength?
[ aka, can he with his tiny little disney princess hands achieve this someday. obviously no, because riddle is comically unathletic, but a man can dream can't he???? ]
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i dont know
i never did anything special
grip strength doesnt really matter much for football, you know? its just a useless party trick
[ he really thinks that. ]
you probably could if you did forearm exercises
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we're just innocent men
[ contrary to what riddle may be implying, he does not in fact expect kaiser to venture past his front door on new year's day. look, he's a fellow introvert, he Gets It. that being said, ugh, now he has to decide if he wants to watch the sunrise with kaiser or show kaiser how beautiful he looks all made up in his kimono in person. doing both is too inconvenient.
anyway, just leave the planning to him. all kaiser needs to do is acknowledge his existence and accept his new year's gift so riddle can have his Full New Years Experience. easy, right? ]
While wanting to read more is a noble goal, you should focus on quality, not quantity. If the book you're reading is dry and uninteresting, you won't want to make time to read it. Do not speedread!
Perhaps exploring a new genre will motivate you. What sorts of books have you been reading until now?
but are any men innocent... 🥺
[ he is not kidding. anyways, the solution is simple, they should both just stay in! ... except kaiser does recognize the value of hanging out with other people, hence his fake extrovert personality... ]
mostly i read philosophy and psychology... and mostly in german, though i can read in other languages too...
[ suddenly, the reason why it might take kaiser a looong time to read things becomes incredibly clear. it's the material, not his speed. ]
im not against reading in other genres, though, i havent thought about what else might interest me, though. history maybe? biographies? does anything else come to mind...
.....no i dont think there actually are 🫣 guilty by association, sowwy (not sowwy) men!
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@outplayed
[ he's supposed to be the one being a better, less useless friend here!! though to be fair, kaiser really was moments away from having to figuratively sleep on the couch. focusing on this stresses riddle out in a whole new exciting way that takes his mind off his previous worries. ohhh, what a considerate little german boy 🥹❤️ ]
Since sharing a parfait seems to be a romantic staple, I *originally* wanted to go to Asako Iwayanagi. They serve the most amazing-looking parfaits there with a variety of unique components. If that's too intimate for you, I also had my eye on Ebisu Cafe, where they pioneered fruit sandwiches.
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[ also... that buys him some time before he starts running out of ideas, but he won't say that. ]
why not mon-wed-sat though? dont most people dislike monday? itll be something you can look forward to 🥺
but parfait is fine
let me see about making a reservation and if not we can do take out and eat elsewhere... or maybe that would be better? i bet itll be busy there
[ he's thinking... an upscale hotel lounge or something along those lines? he's google searching places with indoors gardens... ]
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@hanikamu
[ he also longs to be spoiled and adored like one, but that's neither here nor there. after all, with rinne's attention on him and him alone for the moment, riddle has nothing to complain about. in fact, he looks intrigued. riddle does so love a good mystery. ]
I fail to see how I look matters any, but worry not. Rest assured I won't tell a soul, Rinne-san. I'll happily keep this secret between just the two of us.
one of these days i'm gonna accidentally call him tsukasa
[ Rinne hooks his arm around Riddle's and leads the way!
It's... a hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant! Not those new, sleek types for young customers to make Tiktoks with. This one's a quiet, cozy, old-fashioned place with brick walls and warm lights. It's definitely not what you'd expect from Rinne. Artisanal pizza seems to be their specialty. ]
Aaaand we're here.
ngl sometimes i call him tsukasa's ugly twin or temu tsukasa
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@heavyliesthecrown
I come from a similar situation. Growing up, my diet was strict, so sweets were expressly forbidden. Now that I'm free to try any of the foods I want, I will most often give anything I'm presented with a fair chance. One never knows when a new favorite may crop up.
I will bring a variety of molds for us to try. As for me, I love milk chocolate with strawberry mousse filling. I also enjoy chocolate-covered strawberries.
Re: @heavyliesthecrown
Is there anything else you can think of that we may need and that I have failed to account for? I am looking forward to the day now.
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@jujutsugoroshi
[ his response is a bit delayed because he screamed and tossed his phone across the room like a frisbee. ugh! having a complete horndog for a practice boyfriend is going to be a challenge, isn't it? especially since riddle is determined to spend more time with toji now. ]
DON'T JUST SAY THAT SORT OF THING SO CASUALLY! Besides, I don't doubt you'll have no difficulty in finding another cute hole to fill by the end of the week, assuming you don't have several on standby as it is. It'll be for the best when the time comes.
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Oh, I know. You're so clingy. It's cute.
Well why not? It's true. Though I would have to take some time to scrounge up someone as tight and cute and sweet as you are. I've been spoiled by that perfect little hole of yours, and all the lovely noises you make. You won't be easy to replace.
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@jujutsugoroshi
[ it completely goes against his previous claims of distrusting toji, and is most definitely against his better judgment, but riddle decides that perhaps another scrap of princess lore is in order. no one has ever promised to take care of him or be good to him before... after a life of pain and loneliness, it's hard not to latch onto such a dreamy offer. ]
...I still have a lot to learn when it comes to understanding people, their feelings, and their intentions. So far it's been simpler to distrust everyone and focus only on myself and my studies, just as my mother told me to.
I don't know if you're being sincere, but I want you to be. I really do.
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[ it really is entirely too easy to fluster him. and yet.
the openness does once again give him pause, though. riddle, how dare you try to activate any of his trauma, he buries it under gambling, nihilism, and sex. ]
If there's one thing you can trust from me, it's that I want you. That I like making you mine. That's pretty hard to fake.
So I'll take care of you until you find someone better.
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tfln
[punching the wall punching the wall punching the wall-- mentally, of course. he'd give too much away if he reacted too much right now. hell, he's not even going to tell jade he's leaving this time. just gonna get up and go. he knows exactly where riddle is (the background of the photos, though decidedly NOT the point, confirms this for him) and he's not going to just take this sitting down!!
or, well..... if he has no choice but to take it sitting down, he's at least going to do it at the foot of the queen, where he belongs..photos are fun and have their purpose, but they're certainly no substitute for seeing and feeling the real deal. and riddle KNOWS this, which is why Floyd is 1000% sure that he's riling him up JUST to punish him for this totally innocuous accidental goofle search. for this, he will not stand!
which is why he's not letting on even a little bit that he's on his way to heartslabyul. just going to keep texting like normal while he books it across campus to the mirror room.]
ive been nothin BUT a good boy today tyvm
didnt slack off at practice
turned in all the lib books i forgot about
finished all my hw before i went to work
didnt bite any customers even tho one guy really deserved it
[nevermind why he's getting punished in the first place and that he's now completely abandoned his post in order to fulfill a whim again]
and this is how you treat an innocent man??
your good boy?
slippin me salacious little snaps like that?
kinda makes a guy wanna revolt a lil ;)
think ill have my cake and eat it too
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[ none the wiser to the moray's ambush, riddle sits himself neatly in front of his mirror, legs extended and ankles crossed, completely relaxed as he ponders the other boy's messages. 'nevermind' his ass-- floyd so much as thinking about another fertile body will not stand! what, does riddle not "put him to work" frequently enough?! and anyway, riddle is much more attractive than any old fish... ]
Now, whyever would you want to do such a thing? Are these treats not sweet enough for you? I wanted to avoid spoiling your appetite since I wanted to call on you after your shift, but it seems I've only succeeded in making you greedy.
A pity. You seem to forget whose verdict is the only one that matters. You certainly *were* a good boy today... Is there any way you wish prove your contrition? Convince me you're innocent of the crime of letting your eyes wander.
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............i forgot to press send LMFAO SORRY
YOU GOOD LMAOOO time isnt real anyway
i hate how often this happens like damn granny either take ur prevagen or get it together
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Now, what should we watch, Cay-Cay? Do you want to stick to music videos, or should we look for a cool, inspirational movie?
[ he means a low-brow horror movie or stoner flick. ]
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So even though his first instinct is to say— let's do what you want, it suddenly occurs to Cater that there is a pattern here, and he's not being asked to cater to what he usually knows to be Riddle's tastes for a reason.]
Y'know?
Why don't we chill out first with a cool flick, and if we get bored, we can watch some music videos.
[He suggests as he sliiides over to sit down in front of that television, arms out and fingers wiggling to invite Riddle to sit close.]
Sound good?