No! Not at all! Absolutely, positively not! Shame on you for even suggesting something so vulgar!
[ and shame on riddle for doubling down even though he's now imagining toji, spattered with some lesser man's blood and running high on adrenaline, hauling him up and fucking him senseless right next to whatever is left of the sorry bastard that thought he could claim what wasn't his. can he at least pretend to have a shred of decency left within him?! ]
Pack it in! Nevermind! Now I'm *definitely* withdrawing my request! There's no way we wouldn't end up just shagging on the floor and getting nothing else done! No, I think a taser and putting you on speed dial on my phone will do just fine!
Just asking, that's all. You don't have to get so wound up. It almost makes you sound defensive.
[ because now, yes, he definitely thinks that riddle likes it. that riddle is the same kind of wicked and depraved that he is. who knows? maybe next time he has a job, he'll have to make sure it's a messy one. one where riddle can enjoy the after-effects. ]
Probably for the best. I'm sure I could teach you some moves, but you're so small and cute, picking fights isn't in your nature. You just let me take care of you.
Who wouldn't get defensive over being accused of such debauchery?! You might as well just say I'm a touch mad and save us both time! (See what happens to you if you do that, by the way!)
[ he tries hard to hide it, and truthfully he has gotten a lot better compared to when he first started school, but toji's suspicions would be correct. he's no assassin, but the only thing that kept riddle from having a head count of his own is the fact his old classmates were brave enough to pry him off one of them when he tried his damndest to introduce a pair of scissors to their neck. it isn't necessarily his proudest moment, but he still maintains he was in the right given the situation. essentially getting away with attempted murder didn't humble him the way it should have.
toji doesn't need to know any of that though. not right now. ]
You're correct. Even I know instigating a fight and putting my hands on someone else most likely won't end well for me. I'm not...necessarily well-liked by some of my peers. I'm sure you understand what I'm getting at. Not to worry though. I can handle foolish schoolboys, and I finally have friends who are on my side as well.
But, on the off-chance someone beyond my capabilities accosts me, I won't mind siccing you on them. There *are* few things more attractive than a man defending your honor.
I mean, you're into me, so that probably suggests something about your tastes. But hey, I can't judge.
[ as he's well aware of. some would say that he was born rotten, in fact, and he's not sure if that's true, but what he knows is that he is now, in a lot of ways. perhaps he shouldn't be messing around with someone like riddle because of it - but he is rotten. so he'll just keep having fun.
what's the worst that can happen? ]
Well, I like you well enough, you know that. So if anything ever comes up, you just point me at whoever's hassling you, and I'll make sure they stop. Permanently.
Oh hush. You're handsome (to put it politely), you can be charming at times, and your cock is immaculate. It would suggest something about my tastes if I *weren't* "into you" as I'm sure many are.
[ it would be one thing if toji came to the conclusion he was rotten on his own and as a result of his lifestyle choices, but if riddle knew he'd been told this before he ever had a chance to decide for himself, it would drive him utterly mad, send him into an upset frenzy. even after everything he's shared with the other man though, he isn't quite ready to unpack why that is.
he's fairly certain if he does, the worst that can happen would happen, and that too requires further unpacking-- it would be a mess. deep down, for now riddle is in agreement. he, too, would like this to be fun for as long as it can be. ]
Do not eviscerate, murder, or maul my classmates, Toji-san. Really, if it comes to that, I can handle it myself. That aside, it really doesn't bother me. Why should I pay any mind to those who are beneath me?
...I do appreciate the offer though. Really. I know I can't do anything similar in return, but I truly mean it when I say that if there's a way I can protect you too, then you must tell me immediately! Anything at all.
Hmm, that is all true. I'm a very pretty package, and I know what I'm doing. Some aren't quite as fond of how, oh, dangerous I can feel. But you like it. A big, strong hand that I'm not afraid to put around your neck and squeeze, right?
[ and he knows how to do it without causing lasting harm! or specifically to do so. he is a man of many talents. not that riddle has to worry about the latter, no matter how annoying he might get. ]
Fine, fine. I don't usually put the hurt on people without getting paid for it, anyway. If you asked nicely, I might cop you a freebie, but that's about it. I can just scare them off, anyway.
And you're cute. I'll let you know if anything comes up.
[ he's not sure how it possibly could, mind you, but. you know. ]
You may be a brute, but you aren't boorish, so that automatically curries you great favor from me. I know little of fear, so a bit of danger is thrilling in calculated doses...and I daresay you're quite good at math.
[ 'like it' is an understatement, but riddle opts to at least try keeping his slutacious thoughts to himself this time. toji is already huge-- riddle doesn't want to give him a big head (well, bigger head) on top of it. ]
Surely you have better things to do with your time than scare off foolish high school boys? Plus, I dread to imagine the rumors that would spread afterwards. "Oh my, the student council president has a hot bodyguard!" What would I even say to that?
Oh, so I'm a respectable brute. I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me.
[ the sad part? that might be true, if we're excluding things about his penis or how good he is in bed. ]
Hey, if I'm between jobs, I can do what I like. And if that means playing guard dog, I can work with that. Don't you want everyone to know that you have a big, scary, gorgeous man protecting you and doting on your every word?
Surely you jest. If this is your way of trying to weasel more compliments out of me, it won't work!
[ because yes, toji is a hot mess and a generally terrible person all around, but riddle will be damned if he doesn't give credit where it's due. yes, his ability to lay pipe was bestowed by the gods themselves, but he has other good qualities too.
...just don't ask riddle to list them right now. look, it's a feeling okay? a feeling!
and also, does a bear shit in the woods? what kind of question is that?! of course riddle wants everyone to know he has the hottest, strongest guard dog this side of japan! he's not just going to admit it though! ]
While that may be true, it isn't that simple for me! I go to a very elite, very expensive private school, and many of the students are the posh and materialistic sort who come from old money. I'm not the only one seeing an older gentleman, but I'm sure you can imagine what people say behind their backs!
Plus... I mean no disrespect, Toji-san, but most of the time you dress far too comfortably. You may not care if you're looked down on by snobbish fools, but I have a reputation to maintain.
[ not that riddle minds the homebody aesthetic normally. it's not like their clothes stay on for too long when they're together anyway. ]
[ who knows, if riddle tried to shower him with too many sincere compliments, he might get uncomfortable. better to just keep him singing his praises in the bedroom, that's easier.
and more fun. ]
Aha, see, now we get to the real problem. What, you think I'm too shabby? I'm almost hurt.
Besides, if I walked around in a suit all day, I'd never be able to get anything done. People would be bending over for me in the street. I've got to keep this hotness on lock down.
[ unfortunately, it will most likely happen some day. riddle is far too honest and transparent for his own good, and often doesn't consider others when expressing said honesty. that'll be a problem for future riddle and future toji, though. ]
I said I meant no disrespect! You're the one who said shabby, not me! I, personally, do not care when we're separate or alone together, but if we're going to be seen together, that's another matter entirely!
...You might be right. Expecting people to bend over for you on site is an exaggeration, but you *would* undoubtedly attract too much attention. If you cleaned up and put on a suit, or even something semi-formal, you would definitely be accosted at every turn. I would be so busy smacking everyone who approached you, there would be no time to do anything else.
I cannot have that. My schedule is tight as it is! Unless you plan to take me out on a date, you mustn't do anything that will draw untoward attention towards yourself!
[ little rose is big jealous. it takes a special kind of insane to be angry at made-up people in a made-up scenario, but this is toji's life now. ]
[ lord help him from high strung and needy women princess boys. ]
See? I know what I'm capable of. I've gotta slum it a little just so I can blend into a crowd. I mean, have you seen my shoulders? I gotta be able to make it from point a to point b without too much trouble.
Don't you worry, though. I won't be giving anyone else attention, not while you're keeping me so occupied, my little princess. No one takes me as good as you do, anyway.
[ at least he's trying to be reassuring, in the... most lewd way possible? no, okay, he doesn't get credit for that. ]
Is that right? I suppose it makes sense. You need every advantage you can get, given you're the size of a damned house, and a handsome face like yours is easy to recognize... Your job is very dangerous. Are you not worried about dealing with retaliation from scorned parties?
[ when riddle isn't around, is toji's life like those action movies where the spy or assassin is constantly fighting off goons? will riddle get kidnapped and held ransom by a rival organization someday? will they have to mr. and mrs. smith their way out of trouble?! if so, toji is screwed... such are the thoughts of a high strung and neurotic princess. look, he just doesn't want his trial boyfriend to get shot or something, alright?! ]
See now, you did well with being encouraging and charming up until that very last sentence. I went from twitterpated to wanting to hit you in the knee with a baseball bat. You're far too fixated on my bottom!
See? It's all part of the plan. I'm not quite as dumb as I look, you know. But don't worry. I don't get much retaliation, on account of how it's hard to retaliate when you're dead.
[ plus, he is just a little bit of an invisible man, so to speak. but he's not sure he wants to take the time to explain to riddle all of that. the less he knows about toji's work life, probably the better. ]
What? It's still true. You have such a cute and perfect little bottom, to go along with how cute and perfect the rest of you is. How am I not supposed to think about it?
*I* don't think you're dumb in the slightest. One doesn't get everything they want without the ability to think critically and utilize great cunning! But, I understand needing to keep that under wraps as well. Goodness, do you mean to tell me no one comes after you to exact revenge for their comrades? *I* would!
[ riddle would probably have an anxiety attack a third of the way through the explanation, so it's definitely for the best. ]
You can think about it without mentioning your ravenous hunger for it constantly! What would you think if I brought up your knob constantly?! "Oh, hello Toji-san, lovely weather, innit? By the way, I fancy your cock!"
No one who's gotten very far, yet. I'm damn good at what I do, what can I say? So don't worry. You're going to be just fine. I'm the one who protects your from the monsters, remember?
To be honest, I think that's the subtext to most things you say to me. You do seem pretty fond of it.
[ and yes, obviously he'd be into that. he's trash. ]
I'm not worried about myself, you dolt. Obviously I don't want you getting shot in the street or something equally awful. Be certain you never let your guard down, and you're always thorough! I recommend cutting their heads off at the end. That should do nicely.
THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL!
The subtext part, not the part about your cock, *that* is true, I will admit. But I'm not a pervert like you who talks about it and thinks about it constantly! You overestimate your corruption of me!
[ he's mostly trying to convince himself. truthfully, even his friends at school have noticed a change in him, mostly that his moods are better and he's slightly more lenient with rule-breakers. getting someone to fuck him has been both a blessing and a curse. ]
Please. There's not a man alive who could kill me. You don't have to worry about that. I'm too damn good, and I always clean up my messes.
Mhm. I'm not so convinced. I'm sure you're thinking about it right now, how good it tastes, or how bad you want to feel it stirring up your pussy. You can be honest.
[ toji has noticed too, really. he's definitely a lot softer. well. a little bit. ]
I have no choice but to take your word for it, but don't think this means I'll let up on you or stop lecturing you. I will not have you getting sloppy or doing something reckless because of your arrogance.
[ where he gets the nerve to lecture a godly assassin is anyone's guess. ]
NO I'M NOT STOP SAYING ALL THESE FILTHY THINGS OR YOU'LL MAKE ME LOSE MY TEMPER LEAVE ME AND MY PUSSY OUT OF YOUR DEBAUCHEROUS FANTASIES
[ the fact toji takes the brunt of his toxic bullshit, seemingly without a care in the world no less, helps too. then again, who else but the strongest man in the world can laugh off the threat of being mauled by someone so clearly unhinged? ]
Yeah, yeah, I know you'll keep reading me the riot act as much as you need to. But don't worry. I'm very safe.
[ after all, it was easy to be safe when everyone who might be a threat was already dead. or something. ]
But you and your pussy are my favorite things to think about, baby boy. If you asked me not to think about that, what am I supposed to enjoy? Something second rate?
[ when in doubt? play to his little ego. or his jealousy. or both! ]
If you say so. After all, you're your own worst enemy, Toji-san, but unfortunately there's little that can be done about that.
[ the man's arrogance and greed will bite him in the ass (or torso, apparently!) someday, riddle is certain of it.
and see, riddle knows he's being baited. he knows! but is it going to work? ]
Can't you think about anything other than sex?! Think about doing your taxes, or gardening, or
Or
Just...anything else! Now, it's understandable that you *would* enjoy thinking about me often, and I'm certainly not inviting you to think about others or reminisce on former trysts! Far from it! But I have plenty of other qualities aside from my nethers!
[ ...yeah, it worked. maybe a little too well? because now he's sulking and seething. ]
Oh, nevermind it. You don't care about any of that anyway. I'm just a nagging hole to you. That's fine! I don't care either! You're awful anyway so leave me alone!
[ but hey, he's made it this far. clearly he's doing something right. ]
Hey, now, don't act like that. You're so much more than just a hole to me. Even if it is so pretty and tight and good.
You're a pretty face. A cute voice. An impressive sense of style. A clever little mind. You have lots of good qualities. So many that it's hard not to think about how much I want you to be mine all the time.
[ riddle would use this as an opportunity to start another lecture about toji needing to take care of himself, but right now he's in the middle of deciding whether he wants to put him in the doghouse or not. brats are gonna brat. ]
Hmm... I don't know if I believe you. You're just saying all that to butter me up so I behave again. If I was caught in a violent accident where my entire body was severed vertically and my pussy was rendered nonfunctional, that's it! Pack it in! You would leave me looking foolish, my organs and blood at my feet, all alone! I know what you're after, you don't fool me. Mean, stupid Toji-san!
[ riddle is completely deranged, but at least he's not terribly difficult to figure out. ]
[ sometimes, even toji does have to take a moment to take stock of things and decide how he feels about all of this. this is one of those moments. ]
Well, I think I'd have bigger concerns if you had your organs at your feet. But of course I wouldn't just abandon you. I'd have to make sure you were in good shape.
I like lots of things about you. And you could still wear pretty blouses even if there's half of you, so that's fine. Hey, I could even free up space in my shoe closet.
[ unfortunately, even if this was the moment toji had a reckoning, riddle would give his very life to make sure he causes as much psychic damage as possible on the man's way out. what can he say? finally belonging to someone feels too good to just give up without a fight. ]
A smart and sensible answer. I was going to ask you if you would still find me cute despite being mangled, but if you would go to the trouble of fixing me up and sacrificing your space for me, then clearly you would. I must admit, I'm touched.
Perhaps I've been a bit too harsh with you. Yes, that is most definitely so. You may be a lust-crazed brute, but you *do* take care of me. I haven't felt lonely since we met. That counts for a lot.
I'll forgive you for upsetting me earlier. When I come over tonight, I'll be completely sweet to you as a show of my gratitude. It's only fair.
no subject
[ and shame on riddle for doubling down even though he's now imagining toji, spattered with some lesser man's blood and running high on adrenaline, hauling him up and fucking him senseless right next to whatever is left of the sorry bastard that thought he could claim what wasn't his. can he at least pretend to have a shred of decency left within him?! ]
Pack it in! Nevermind! Now I'm *definitely* withdrawing my request! There's no way we wouldn't end up just shagging on the floor and getting nothing else done! No, I think a taser and putting you on speed dial on my phone will do just fine!
no subject
[ because now, yes, he definitely thinks that riddle likes it. that riddle is the same kind of wicked and depraved that he is. who knows? maybe next time he has a job, he'll have to make sure it's a messy one. one where riddle can enjoy the after-effects. ]
Probably for the best. I'm sure I could teach you some moves, but you're so small and cute, picking fights isn't in your nature. You just let me take care of you.
I'll happily be your attack dog.
no subject
[ he tries hard to hide it, and truthfully he has gotten a lot better compared to when he first started school, but toji's suspicions would be correct. he's no assassin, but the only thing that kept riddle from having a head count of his own is the fact his old classmates were brave enough to pry him off one of them when he tried his damndest to introduce a pair of scissors to their neck. it isn't necessarily his proudest moment, but he still maintains he was in the right given the situation. essentially getting away with attempted murder didn't humble him the way it should have.
toji doesn't need to know any of that though. not right now. ]
You're correct. Even I know instigating a fight and putting my hands on someone else most likely won't end well for me. I'm not...necessarily well-liked by some of my peers. I'm sure you understand what I'm getting at. Not to worry though. I can handle foolish schoolboys, and I finally have friends who are on my side as well.
But, on the off-chance someone beyond my capabilities accosts me, I won't mind siccing you on them. There *are* few things more attractive than a man defending your honor.
no subject
[ as he's well aware of. some would say that he was born rotten, in fact, and he's not sure if that's true, but what he knows is that he is now, in a lot of ways. perhaps he shouldn't be messing around with someone like riddle because of it - but he is rotten. so he'll just keep having fun.
what's the worst that can happen? ]
Well, I like you well enough, you know that. So if anything ever comes up, you just point me at whoever's hassling you, and I'll make sure they stop. Permanently.
Whatever I have to do to arrange that.
no subject
[ it would be one thing if toji came to the conclusion he was rotten on his own and as a result of his lifestyle choices, but if riddle knew he'd been told this before he ever had a chance to decide for himself, it would drive him utterly mad, send him into an upset frenzy. even after everything he's shared with the other man though, he isn't quite ready to unpack why that is.
he's fairly certain if he does, the worst that can happen would happen, and that too requires further unpacking-- it would be a mess. deep down, for now riddle is in agreement. he, too, would like this to be fun for as long as it can be. ]
Do not eviscerate, murder, or maul my classmates, Toji-san. Really, if it comes to that, I can handle it myself. That aside, it really doesn't bother me. Why should I pay any mind to those who are beneath me?
...I do appreciate the offer though. Really. I know I can't do anything similar in return, but I truly mean it when I say that if there's a way I can protect you too, then you must tell me immediately! Anything at all.
[ fair is fair, after all. ]
no subject
[ and he knows how to do it without causing lasting harm! or specifically to do so. he is a man of many talents. not that riddle has to worry about the latter, no matter how annoying he might get. ]
Fine, fine. I don't usually put the hurt on people without getting paid for it, anyway. If you asked nicely, I might cop you a freebie, but that's about it. I can just scare them off, anyway.
And you're cute. I'll let you know if anything comes up.
[ he's not sure how it possibly could, mind you, but. you know. ]
no subject
[ 'like it' is an understatement, but riddle opts to at least try keeping his slutacious thoughts to himself this time. toji is already huge-- riddle doesn't want to give him a big head (well, bigger head) on top of it. ]
Surely you have better things to do with your time than scare off foolish high school boys? Plus, I dread to imagine the rumors that would spread afterwards. "Oh my, the student council president has a hot bodyguard!" What would I even say to that?
Good! See to it that you do.
no subject
[ the sad part? that might be true, if we're excluding things about his penis or how good he is in bed. ]
Hey, if I'm between jobs, I can do what I like. And if that means playing guard dog, I can work with that. Don't you want everyone to know that you have a big, scary, gorgeous man protecting you and doting on your every word?
no subject
[ because yes, toji is a hot mess and a generally terrible person all around, but riddle will be damned if he doesn't give credit where it's due. yes, his ability to lay pipe was bestowed by the gods themselves, but he has other good qualities too.
...just don't ask riddle to list them right now. look, it's a feeling okay? a feeling!
and also, does a bear shit in the woods? what kind of question is that?! of course riddle wants everyone to know he has the hottest, strongest guard dog this side of japan! he's not just going to admit it though! ]
While that may be true, it isn't that simple for me! I go to a very elite, very expensive private school, and many of the students are the posh and materialistic sort who come from old money. I'm not the only one seeing an older gentleman, but I'm sure you can imagine what people say behind their backs!
Plus... I mean no disrespect, Toji-san, but most of the time you dress far too comfortably. You may not care if you're looked down on by snobbish fools, but I have a reputation to maintain.
[ not that riddle minds the homebody aesthetic normally. it's not like their clothes stay on for too long when they're together anyway. ]
no subject
[ who knows, if riddle tried to shower him with too many sincere compliments, he might get uncomfortable. better to just keep him singing his praises in the bedroom, that's easier.
and more fun. ]
Aha, see, now we get to the real problem. What, you think I'm too shabby? I'm almost hurt.
Besides, if I walked around in a suit all day, I'd never be able to get anything done. People would be bending over for me in the street. I've got to keep this hotness on lock down.
no subject
[ unfortunately, it will most likely happen some day. riddle is far too honest and transparent for his own good, and often doesn't consider others when expressing said honesty. that'll be a problem for future riddle and future toji, though. ]
I said I meant no disrespect! You're the one who said shabby, not me! I, personally, do not care when we're separate or alone together, but if we're going to be seen together, that's another matter entirely!
...You might be right. Expecting people to bend over for you on site is an exaggeration, but you *would* undoubtedly attract too much attention. If you cleaned up and put on a suit, or even something semi-formal, you would definitely be accosted at every turn. I would be so busy smacking everyone who approached you, there would be no time to do anything else.
I cannot have that. My schedule is tight as it is! Unless you plan to take me out on a date, you mustn't do anything that will draw untoward attention towards yourself!
[ little rose is big jealous. it takes a special kind of insane to be angry at made-up people in a made-up scenario, but this is toji's life now. ]
no subject
womenprincess boys. ]See? I know what I'm capable of. I've gotta slum it a little just so I can blend into a crowd. I mean, have you seen my shoulders? I gotta be able to make it from point a to point b without too much trouble.
Don't you worry, though. I won't be giving anyone else attention, not while you're keeping me so occupied, my little princess. No one takes me as good as you do, anyway.
[ at least he's trying to be reassuring, in the... most lewd way possible? no, okay, he doesn't get credit for that. ]
no subject
[ when riddle isn't around, is toji's life like those action movies where the spy or assassin is constantly fighting off goons? will riddle get kidnapped and held ransom by a rival organization someday? will they have to mr. and mrs. smith their way out of trouble?! if so, toji is screwed... such are the thoughts of a high strung and neurotic princess. look, he just doesn't want his trial boyfriend to get shot or something, alright?! ]
See now, you did well with being encouraging and charming up until that very last sentence. I went from twitterpated to wanting to hit you in the knee with a baseball bat. You're far too fixated on my bottom!
no subject
[ plus, he is just a little bit of an invisible man, so to speak. but he's not sure he wants to take the time to explain to riddle all of that. the less he knows about toji's work life, probably the better. ]
What? It's still true. You have such a cute and perfect little bottom, to go along with how cute and perfect the rest of you is. How am I not supposed to think about it?
no subject
[ riddle would probably have an anxiety attack a third of the way through the explanation, so it's definitely for the best. ]
You can think about it without mentioning your ravenous hunger for it constantly! What would you think if I brought up your knob constantly?! "Oh, hello Toji-san, lovely weather, innit? By the way, I fancy your cock!"
[ ...wait, no, he's probably be into that, huh? ]
no subject
To be honest, I think that's the subtext to most things you say to me. You do seem pretty fond of it.
[ and yes, obviously he'd be into that. he's trash. ]
no subject
THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL!
The subtext part, not the part about your cock, *that* is true, I will admit. But I'm not a pervert like you who talks about it and thinks about it constantly! You overestimate your corruption of me!
[ he's mostly trying to convince himself. truthfully, even his friends at school have noticed a change in him, mostly that his moods are better and he's slightly more lenient with rule-breakers. getting someone to fuck him has been both a blessing and a curse. ]
no subject
Mhm. I'm not so convinced. I'm sure you're thinking about it right now, how good it tastes, or how bad you want to feel it stirring up your pussy. You can be honest.
[ toji has noticed too, really. he's definitely a lot softer. well. a little bit. ]
no subject
[ where he gets the nerve to lecture a godly assassin is anyone's guess. ]
NO I'M NOT STOP SAYING ALL THESE FILTHY THINGS OR YOU'LL MAKE ME LOSE MY TEMPER LEAVE ME AND MY PUSSY OUT OF YOUR DEBAUCHEROUS FANTASIES
[ the fact toji takes the brunt of his toxic bullshit, seemingly without a care in the world no less, helps too. then again, who else but the strongest man in the world can laugh off the threat of being mauled by someone so clearly unhinged? ]
no subject
[ after all, it was easy to be safe when everyone who might be a threat was already dead. or something. ]
But you and your pussy are my favorite things to think about, baby boy. If you asked me not to think about that, what am I supposed to enjoy? Something second rate?
[ when in doubt? play to his little ego. or his jealousy. or both! ]
no subject
[ the man's arrogance and greed will bite him in the ass (or torso, apparently!) someday, riddle is certain of it.
and see, riddle knows he's being baited. he knows! but is it going to work? ]
Can't you think about anything other than sex?! Think about doing your taxes, or gardening, or
Or
Just...anything else! Now, it's understandable that you *would* enjoy thinking about me often, and I'm certainly not inviting you to think about others or reminisce on former trysts! Far from it! But I have plenty of other qualities aside from my nethers!
[ ...yeah, it worked. maybe a little too well? because now he's sulking and seething. ]
Oh, nevermind it. You don't care about any of that anyway. I'm just a nagging hole to you. That's fine! I don't care either! You're awful anyway so leave me alone!
no subject
[ but hey, he's made it this far. clearly he's doing something right. ]
Hey, now, don't act like that. You're so much more than just a hole to me. Even if it is so pretty and tight and good.
You're a pretty face. A cute voice. An impressive sense of style. A clever little mind. You have lots of good qualities. So many that it's hard not to think about how much I want you to be mine all the time.
no subject
Hmm... I don't know if I believe you. You're just saying all that to butter me up so I behave again. If I was caught in a violent accident where my entire body was severed vertically and my pussy was rendered nonfunctional, that's it! Pack it in! You would leave me looking foolish, my organs and blood at my feet, all alone! I know what you're after, you don't fool me. Mean, stupid Toji-san!
[ riddle is completely deranged, but at least he's not terribly difficult to figure out. ]
no subject
Well, I think I'd have bigger concerns if you had your organs at your feet. But of course I wouldn't just abandon you. I'd have to make sure you were in good shape.
I like lots of things about you. And you could still wear pretty blouses even if there's half of you, so that's fine. Hey, I could even free up space in my shoe closet.
no subject
A smart and sensible answer. I was going to ask you if you would still find me cute despite being mangled, but if you would go to the trouble of fixing me up and sacrificing your space for me, then clearly you would. I must admit, I'm touched.
Perhaps I've been a bit too harsh with you. Yes, that is most definitely so. You may be a lust-crazed brute, but you *do* take care of me. I haven't felt lonely since we met. That counts for a lot.
I'll forgive you for upsetting me earlier. When I come over tonight, I'll be completely sweet to you as a show of my gratitude. It's only fair.