[ lord help him from high strung and needy women princess boys. ]
See? I know what I'm capable of. I've gotta slum it a little just so I can blend into a crowd. I mean, have you seen my shoulders? I gotta be able to make it from point a to point b without too much trouble.
Don't you worry, though. I won't be giving anyone else attention, not while you're keeping me so occupied, my little princess. No one takes me as good as you do, anyway.
[ at least he's trying to be reassuring, in the... most lewd way possible? no, okay, he doesn't get credit for that. ]
Is that right? I suppose it makes sense. You need every advantage you can get, given you're the size of a damned house, and a handsome face like yours is easy to recognize... Your job is very dangerous. Are you not worried about dealing with retaliation from scorned parties?
[ when riddle isn't around, is toji's life like those action movies where the spy or assassin is constantly fighting off goons? will riddle get kidnapped and held ransom by a rival organization someday? will they have to mr. and mrs. smith their way out of trouble?! if so, toji is screwed... such are the thoughts of a high strung and neurotic princess. look, he just doesn't want his trial boyfriend to get shot or something, alright?! ]
See now, you did well with being encouraging and charming up until that very last sentence. I went from twitterpated to wanting to hit you in the knee with a baseball bat. You're far too fixated on my bottom!
See? It's all part of the plan. I'm not quite as dumb as I look, you know. But don't worry. I don't get much retaliation, on account of how it's hard to retaliate when you're dead.
[ plus, he is just a little bit of an invisible man, so to speak. but he's not sure he wants to take the time to explain to riddle all of that. the less he knows about toji's work life, probably the better. ]
What? It's still true. You have such a cute and perfect little bottom, to go along with how cute and perfect the rest of you is. How am I not supposed to think about it?
*I* don't think you're dumb in the slightest. One doesn't get everything they want without the ability to think critically and utilize great cunning! But, I understand needing to keep that under wraps as well. Goodness, do you mean to tell me no one comes after you to exact revenge for their comrades? *I* would!
[ riddle would probably have an anxiety attack a third of the way through the explanation, so it's definitely for the best. ]
You can think about it without mentioning your ravenous hunger for it constantly! What would you think if I brought up your knob constantly?! "Oh, hello Toji-san, lovely weather, innit? By the way, I fancy your cock!"
No one who's gotten very far, yet. I'm damn good at what I do, what can I say? So don't worry. You're going to be just fine. I'm the one who protects your from the monsters, remember?
To be honest, I think that's the subtext to most things you say to me. You do seem pretty fond of it.
[ and yes, obviously he'd be into that. he's trash. ]
I'm not worried about myself, you dolt. Obviously I don't want you getting shot in the street or something equally awful. Be certain you never let your guard down, and you're always thorough! I recommend cutting their heads off at the end. That should do nicely.
THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL!
The subtext part, not the part about your cock, *that* is true, I will admit. But I'm not a pervert like you who talks about it and thinks about it constantly! You overestimate your corruption of me!
[ he's mostly trying to convince himself. truthfully, even his friends at school have noticed a change in him, mostly that his moods are better and he's slightly more lenient with rule-breakers. getting someone to fuck him has been both a blessing and a curse. ]
Please. There's not a man alive who could kill me. You don't have to worry about that. I'm too damn good, and I always clean up my messes.
Mhm. I'm not so convinced. I'm sure you're thinking about it right now, how good it tastes, or how bad you want to feel it stirring up your pussy. You can be honest.
[ toji has noticed too, really. he's definitely a lot softer. well. a little bit. ]
I have no choice but to take your word for it, but don't think this means I'll let up on you or stop lecturing you. I will not have you getting sloppy or doing something reckless because of your arrogance.
[ where he gets the nerve to lecture a godly assassin is anyone's guess. ]
NO I'M NOT STOP SAYING ALL THESE FILTHY THINGS OR YOU'LL MAKE ME LOSE MY TEMPER LEAVE ME AND MY PUSSY OUT OF YOUR DEBAUCHEROUS FANTASIES
[ the fact toji takes the brunt of his toxic bullshit, seemingly without a care in the world no less, helps too. then again, who else but the strongest man in the world can laugh off the threat of being mauled by someone so clearly unhinged? ]
Yeah, yeah, I know you'll keep reading me the riot act as much as you need to. But don't worry. I'm very safe.
[ after all, it was easy to be safe when everyone who might be a threat was already dead. or something. ]
But you and your pussy are my favorite things to think about, baby boy. If you asked me not to think about that, what am I supposed to enjoy? Something second rate?
[ when in doubt? play to his little ego. or his jealousy. or both! ]
If you say so. After all, you're your own worst enemy, Toji-san, but unfortunately there's little that can be done about that.
[ the man's arrogance and greed will bite him in the ass (or torso, apparently!) someday, riddle is certain of it.
and see, riddle knows he's being baited. he knows! but is it going to work? ]
Can't you think about anything other than sex?! Think about doing your taxes, or gardening, or
Or
Just...anything else! Now, it's understandable that you *would* enjoy thinking about me often, and I'm certainly not inviting you to think about others or reminisce on former trysts! Far from it! But I have plenty of other qualities aside from my nethers!
[ ...yeah, it worked. maybe a little too well? because now he's sulking and seething. ]
Oh, nevermind it. You don't care about any of that anyway. I'm just a nagging hole to you. That's fine! I don't care either! You're awful anyway so leave me alone!
[ but hey, he's made it this far. clearly he's doing something right. ]
Hey, now, don't act like that. You're so much more than just a hole to me. Even if it is so pretty and tight and good.
You're a pretty face. A cute voice. An impressive sense of style. A clever little mind. You have lots of good qualities. So many that it's hard not to think about how much I want you to be mine all the time.
[ riddle would use this as an opportunity to start another lecture about toji needing to take care of himself, but right now he's in the middle of deciding whether he wants to put him in the doghouse or not. brats are gonna brat. ]
Hmm... I don't know if I believe you. You're just saying all that to butter me up so I behave again. If I was caught in a violent accident where my entire body was severed vertically and my pussy was rendered nonfunctional, that's it! Pack it in! You would leave me looking foolish, my organs and blood at my feet, all alone! I know what you're after, you don't fool me. Mean, stupid Toji-san!
[ riddle is completely deranged, but at least he's not terribly difficult to figure out. ]
[ sometimes, even toji does have to take a moment to take stock of things and decide how he feels about all of this. this is one of those moments. ]
Well, I think I'd have bigger concerns if you had your organs at your feet. But of course I wouldn't just abandon you. I'd have to make sure you were in good shape.
I like lots of things about you. And you could still wear pretty blouses even if there's half of you, so that's fine. Hey, I could even free up space in my shoe closet.
[ unfortunately, even if this was the moment toji had a reckoning, riddle would give his very life to make sure he causes as much psychic damage as possible on the man's way out. what can he say? finally belonging to someone feels too good to just give up without a fight. ]
A smart and sensible answer. I was going to ask you if you would still find me cute despite being mangled, but if you would go to the trouble of fixing me up and sacrificing your space for me, then clearly you would. I must admit, I'm touched.
Perhaps I've been a bit too harsh with you. Yes, that is most definitely so. You may be a lust-crazed brute, but you *do* take care of me. I haven't felt lonely since we met. That counts for a lot.
I'll forgive you for upsetting me earlier. When I come over tonight, I'll be completely sweet to you as a show of my gratitude. It's only fair.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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womenprincess boys. ]See? I know what I'm capable of. I've gotta slum it a little just so I can blend into a crowd. I mean, have you seen my shoulders? I gotta be able to make it from point a to point b without too much trouble.
Don't you worry, though. I won't be giving anyone else attention, not while you're keeping me so occupied, my little princess. No one takes me as good as you do, anyway.
[ at least he's trying to be reassuring, in the... most lewd way possible? no, okay, he doesn't get credit for that. ]
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[ when riddle isn't around, is toji's life like those action movies where the spy or assassin is constantly fighting off goons? will riddle get kidnapped and held ransom by a rival organization someday? will they have to mr. and mrs. smith their way out of trouble?! if so, toji is screwed... such are the thoughts of a high strung and neurotic princess. look, he just doesn't want his trial boyfriend to get shot or something, alright?! ]
See now, you did well with being encouraging and charming up until that very last sentence. I went from twitterpated to wanting to hit you in the knee with a baseball bat. You're far too fixated on my bottom!
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[ plus, he is just a little bit of an invisible man, so to speak. but he's not sure he wants to take the time to explain to riddle all of that. the less he knows about toji's work life, probably the better. ]
What? It's still true. You have such a cute and perfect little bottom, to go along with how cute and perfect the rest of you is. How am I not supposed to think about it?
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[ riddle would probably have an anxiety attack a third of the way through the explanation, so it's definitely for the best. ]
You can think about it without mentioning your ravenous hunger for it constantly! What would you think if I brought up your knob constantly?! "Oh, hello Toji-san, lovely weather, innit? By the way, I fancy your cock!"
[ ...wait, no, he's probably be into that, huh? ]
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To be honest, I think that's the subtext to most things you say to me. You do seem pretty fond of it.
[ and yes, obviously he'd be into that. he's trash. ]
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THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL!
The subtext part, not the part about your cock, *that* is true, I will admit. But I'm not a pervert like you who talks about it and thinks about it constantly! You overestimate your corruption of me!
[ he's mostly trying to convince himself. truthfully, even his friends at school have noticed a change in him, mostly that his moods are better and he's slightly more lenient with rule-breakers. getting someone to fuck him has been both a blessing and a curse. ]
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Mhm. I'm not so convinced. I'm sure you're thinking about it right now, how good it tastes, or how bad you want to feel it stirring up your pussy. You can be honest.
[ toji has noticed too, really. he's definitely a lot softer. well. a little bit. ]
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[ where he gets the nerve to lecture a godly assassin is anyone's guess. ]
NO I'M NOT STOP SAYING ALL THESE FILTHY THINGS OR YOU'LL MAKE ME LOSE MY TEMPER LEAVE ME AND MY PUSSY OUT OF YOUR DEBAUCHEROUS FANTASIES
[ the fact toji takes the brunt of his toxic bullshit, seemingly without a care in the world no less, helps too. then again, who else but the strongest man in the world can laugh off the threat of being mauled by someone so clearly unhinged? ]
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[ after all, it was easy to be safe when everyone who might be a threat was already dead. or something. ]
But you and your pussy are my favorite things to think about, baby boy. If you asked me not to think about that, what am I supposed to enjoy? Something second rate?
[ when in doubt? play to his little ego. or his jealousy. or both! ]
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[ the man's arrogance and greed will bite him in the ass (or torso, apparently!) someday, riddle is certain of it.
and see, riddle knows he's being baited. he knows! but is it going to work? ]
Can't you think about anything other than sex?! Think about doing your taxes, or gardening, or
Or
Just...anything else! Now, it's understandable that you *would* enjoy thinking about me often, and I'm certainly not inviting you to think about others or reminisce on former trysts! Far from it! But I have plenty of other qualities aside from my nethers!
[ ...yeah, it worked. maybe a little too well? because now he's sulking and seething. ]
Oh, nevermind it. You don't care about any of that anyway. I'm just a nagging hole to you. That's fine! I don't care either! You're awful anyway so leave me alone!
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[ but hey, he's made it this far. clearly he's doing something right. ]
Hey, now, don't act like that. You're so much more than just a hole to me. Even if it is so pretty and tight and good.
You're a pretty face. A cute voice. An impressive sense of style. A clever little mind. You have lots of good qualities. So many that it's hard not to think about how much I want you to be mine all the time.
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Hmm... I don't know if I believe you. You're just saying all that to butter me up so I behave again. If I was caught in a violent accident where my entire body was severed vertically and my pussy was rendered nonfunctional, that's it! Pack it in! You would leave me looking foolish, my organs and blood at my feet, all alone! I know what you're after, you don't fool me. Mean, stupid Toji-san!
[ riddle is completely deranged, but at least he's not terribly difficult to figure out. ]
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Well, I think I'd have bigger concerns if you had your organs at your feet. But of course I wouldn't just abandon you. I'd have to make sure you were in good shape.
I like lots of things about you. And you could still wear pretty blouses even if there's half of you, so that's fine. Hey, I could even free up space in my shoe closet.
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A smart and sensible answer. I was going to ask you if you would still find me cute despite being mangled, but if you would go to the trouble of fixing me up and sacrificing your space for me, then clearly you would. I must admit, I'm touched.
Perhaps I've been a bit too harsh with you. Yes, that is most definitely so. You may be a lust-crazed brute, but you *do* take care of me. I haven't felt lonely since we met. That counts for a lot.
I'll forgive you for upsetting me earlier. When I come over tonight, I'll be completely sweet to you as a show of my gratitude. It's only fair.