[ once again, riddle wants to go back in time and beat his own ass. he knows what he said, but toji's self-deprecation is starting to make him feel a bit guilty.
no, there's no "a bit" about it. the longer the man's words sit, the worse it feels. he promised there wouldn't be any flying solo so long as he's around. not only that, but if toji is being sincere and not just saying all of this to manipulate him, then isn't turning his back on him for someone else in favor of a more proper relationship a cruel thing to do?
riddle wants desperately to be smart about all this, but when he's this desperate for nurturing and positive attention, it feels impossible. what's more, he can't stop overthinking every little thing, being suspicious of toji's every motive yet desperately hopeful for his sincerity. why can't this be simple? what good is all those years of toiling over books when he can't even be honest with himself and he's scared of his own desires? ]
It's true. You are only temporary.
Even if I never find anyone who is as fond of me as you are, it won't matter in the end. My mother expects me to return home after I graduate. Truthfully, I'm not even permitted to date or have a boyfriend. That was one of her rules for letting me go to school here by myself. I know disobeying her is wrong, and keeping this from you was also wrong, but I never imagined you would want to take care of me.
Maybe losing you is what I deserve for breaking her rules.
I suppose I'm just telling you this because I don't want you to get hurt on account of me. If you're going to take care of me like you say you will, I want to do my utmost to do the same, and that includes being honest. You must do everything you can to make sure you remain unattached. Understand?
[ what the hell, sure. let's keep trauma dumping on the crazy dilf with clear attachment issues. it can't be overstated-- toji really should have done his homework before sticking his dick in crazy. ]
no subject
[ once again, riddle wants to go back in time and beat his own ass. he knows what he said, but toji's self-deprecation is starting to make him feel a bit guilty.
no, there's no "a bit" about it. the longer the man's words sit, the worse it feels. he promised there wouldn't be any flying solo so long as he's around. not only that, but if toji is being sincere and not just saying all of this to manipulate him, then isn't turning his back on him for someone else in favor of a more proper relationship a cruel thing to do?
riddle wants desperately to be smart about all this, but when he's this desperate for nurturing and positive attention, it feels impossible. what's more, he can't stop overthinking every little thing, being suspicious of toji's every motive yet desperately hopeful for his sincerity. why can't this be simple? what good is all those years of toiling over books when he can't even be honest with himself and he's scared of his own desires? ]
It's true. You are only temporary.
Even if I never find anyone who is as fond of me as you are, it won't matter in the end. My mother expects me to return home after I graduate. Truthfully, I'm not even permitted to date or have a boyfriend. That was one of her rules for letting me go to school here by myself. I know disobeying her is wrong, and keeping this from you was also wrong, but I never imagined you would want to take care of me.
Maybe losing you is what I deserve for breaking her rules.
I suppose I'm just telling you this because I don't want you to get hurt on account of me. If you're going to take care of me like you say you will, I want to do my utmost to do the same, and that includes being honest. You must do everything you can to make sure you remain unattached. Understand?
[ what the hell, sure. let's keep trauma dumping on the crazy dilf with clear attachment issues. it can't be overstated-- toji really should have done his homework before sticking his dick in crazy. ]